Self Esteem vs Cellulite

Cellulite is a swear word in my house. If I were to truthfully give the score in my battle against cellulite it would be Self-Esteem 0 Cellulite 10. So I’d like to share what a friend of mine posted on her profile.  A few days later after a major meltdown I had to go re-read this a few times. 

"Don’t prioritize your looks my friend, as they won’t last the journey.
Your sense of humor though, will only get better with age.
Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.
Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection.
Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom.
Your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants.
Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.

Don’t prioritize your looks my friend, they will change forevermore, that pursuit is one of much sadness and disappointment.

Prioritize the uniqueness that makes you you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit.

 These are the things which will only get better." - Author unknown

Thoughts on Aging, Cellulite & Self Esteem

Looks are fleeting to a certain extent or maybe it’s just skewed by society, because I see beauty in people of all ages 0-100. It’s not the beauty of youth, but the beauty of wisdom and a life well lived. Self confidence and a good self image was something I felt I had grown into with age. Turning 50 and even coming into menopause, I really felt like many things had come full circle. I know exactly who I am. I’m 100% responsible for where I am in my life. I’m outspoken, outgoing, friendly, and kinda funny. I even felt like I was finally at a place with my body image where I felt comfortable in a bikini (NOTE: I said comfortable – not perfect).

I have cellulite and stretch marks and in all honesty my thighs have been a source of anxiety and embarrassment since my early 20’s after having 3 children. I’ve been way more fit, and have even grown comfortable with the fact that I sit a solid 20 lbs heavier than my ideal. But it takes constant dieting to maintain and frankly I’d rather have a pretty face and a fluffy butt; than a skinny butt and have to deal with a gaunt face (there is no happy medium).

STORY: On my honeymoon (11 years ago) I had a set-back that took a long long time to overcome. I was wearing a bathing-suit and frankly feeling pretty happy and sexy. It was my honeymoon after all. I was walking to the pool and passed a group of young couples (all early 20’s). I was in my 40’s at the time. I overheard one of the men comment to the group, “She looked good coming but not so good going.” Let me tell you, it took everything in my power not to let that comment completely devastate and ruin my honeymoon. Sheer will and determination! Because that comment made me feel so ugly. 

10 years later, I maintain (99% of the time), that “I am who I am” and if I have to look at it, why should I cover it up for someone else. I will wear a bikini and have a good time. Perfect? No, but this is me; like it or not. Then… this weekend my hubby took a candid picture of me while out on the boat… when I saw it…Ladies… I fell apart (internally)… I literally went into mourning… hit with all the insecurities, feelings of ugliness, embarrassment and frankly downright disgust. I still hate that part of my body. 33 years I have hated it and I realize, I probably always will. Will it stop me from having a good time? NO. Will I cover it up and be all insecure and shy about it? NO. Will I ever like it? NO. Did it momentarily ruin my morning? Yes, I’m sad to say it did.

My husband had these words to say to me: “ I thought you were over all that… there is nothing wrong with you! You being upset and feeling ugly makes me so very sad. Sad, that you can’t love yourself the way you are. We are in our 50’s, I thought we were at the stage of “THIS IS US”. Not the best, not the worst, just us. How can 1 picture trigger all that self loathing, and undo all the work you’ve done learning to be happy with yourself for the last 10 years?”

My comment at the time, was “That’s why I have you to love me, because sometimes I can’t.”

I had a 2 hour drive later that day that gave me lots of ME TIME, and I remembered the quote at the top of the page, considered his words, and let myself run through all the insecurities this picture had triggered. The embarrassment, the anxiety, not looking the way I envision looks good and I just plain mourned that that cannot ever change. It is what it is. It’s not something I can fix. I’ve tried it all. I even almost had surgery but they couldn’t guarantee me a better outcome than I had, so I tattooed most of it up instead. 

Final Thoughts

Ladies, we are way too hard on ourselves. Part of our self esteem is wrapped up in the way we look, that is a fact. It’s what keeps us humble, and it’s the way we present ourselves to the world. We are each unique with completely different ideals, and these ideals are not usually used as a lens to judge anyone else. We save that dire scrutiny for ourselves.

Looking forward another 20 years… One day I’m going to wish I looked like I do now; just like right now, I wish I looked the way I did at 35. The quote is right, it cannot be the focus. Our health and maintaining ourselves to feel good, yes… Working with what we have and pampering oneself by dressing nice and having a nice beauty routine that makes us glow, absolutely. Self-Care is essential and a wonderful way to bolster confidence and showcase our personality. BUT… Attitude Is Everything… By having a positive self-image of the things that DO matter, and learning to let go of the things that really don’t; especially moving forward, we can shine as the beautiful women we are. So cellulite and all… I’m going out in my short shorts and bikini and I’m going to wash the car with my husband, who thinks I’m hot stuff just the way I am. AND…I am going to TRY very hard to see myself through his eyes. I’m going to let my confidence and my quirky humor lead the way.

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Tips for Minimizing the Look of Cellulite

Self-Love doesn’t mean you can’t avail yourself to things that make you feel/look better or treatments that can help minimize or resolve the area giving you grief. We have no societal problem with fixing our teeth, wearing contact lenses, coloring our hair, wearing make-up, or getting a tummy tuck, breast augmentation or lift. If finances are not a worry, do what makes you feel good. The harm comes when you chase the illusive fountain of youth as your sole source of self-care. Aging happens to all. Just don’t go over-board and get so caught up in external gratification that you fail to feed your soul. And set realistic goals. Too many Hollywood stars end up looking like plastic caricatures of themselves and would actually look better if they did way less IMO.

A tan… using a self tanner or having a tan helps to minimize the looks of cellulite. Click on the underlined links to view selection.

Using weights to build up the muscles in your thighs, helps tighten the skin and helps to minimize the look of cellulite

For Sexy Time

Red light in your bedroom. The soft glow of a red light bulb completely hides cellulite. Your skin will have a soft beautiful smooth appearance.

Fishnet stockings – These are a favorite. Either as a body suit or as stockings. The smaller the weave the better.

Fishnet Shorts – Love these under a dress or with your favorite lingerie. Look sexy and feel sexy:)

Lace Shorts – Also pretty under a dress, or as an add-on to your favorite shorts. Pretty and feminine.

Medi-Spa Treatments

Skin tightening – There are a number of treatments that help with skin tightening which can be quite effective in reducing stretchmarks, building the collagen and minimizing the look of cellulite. Micro-needling. Also known as collagen induction therapy, micro-needling is an effective treatment for tightening loose skin. Works best when combined with Laser Treatments Or Ultrasound / Radio Frequency Treatments. These treatments are usually done in a series. I had my inner thighs done over 3 sessions 3 months apart. It tightened the skin and made a vast improvement to the texture and firmness of the skin. It also built collagen underneath each stretch mark, making the skin more resilient and less likely to tear.

Good Reads