A Big Sister is a special relationship with someone who always has your best interests at heart. Through life’s struggles and celebrations, this special bond builds into a long-term relationship that warms your soul. A Big Sister is someone you can ask all the hard questions, or otherwise embarrassing ones without judgment, someone who will share advice from experience, laugh with you, cry with you, and lend a good ear. A Big Sister will not always agree with you, but they will have your back! The role of a Big Sister is one of mentorship and friendship. Sisters can be by blood relation or by choice.

Attributes of a Big Sister

  1. Can keep a confidence
  2. Is happy for your success
  3. Is able to see your strengths
  4. Is candid and kind when it comes to your weaknesses
  5. Truly has your best interest at heart
  6. Has empathy and takes the time to listen when you are going through a hard time
  7. Is not competitive against you
  8. Is willing to share their time and experiences with you
Friends laughing

What Makes A Good Friend?

True friendship and knowing the basic rules of being one, can not only help you be a better friend, it can help you decide if someone is good friend material. Friendship is the basic component necessary for all good relationships, including with spouses or life partners. Everyone needs a good friend, we’ve all been burnt by someone who simply did not know how to be one.

10 Rules of Friendship

1. Kindness – friends are kind. Being kind means you want to be the person who points out the positives, views the good in others and offers uplifting support.

2. Trustworthy –  friends can keep  a confidence. If someone shares any confidence or secret. Never gossip about it to others. Never use a confidence as a weapon or share that confidence else without asking permission.

3. Uplifting – friends speak well of each other. If something is wrong or bothering you, address it with your friend directly. Sharing unkind words also shows the other people who you really are and they will not want to share their truths with you either. Gossip is a big friendship killer.

4. Happy for the Success of Others – a good friend is not competitive and doesn’t let jealousy cloud their judgment . A good friend celebrates the success of those they care about.

5. Never Interferes in a Friends’ Love Relationship – your friend comes first. Always check-in with a friend if someone, including their spouse, is trying to get information about them. You want to ensure that the information they want isn’t going to be used against them.

6. Cares – a good friend cares & listens as their friends ”talk things out” . A good friend listens to understand not to respond or one-up.

7. Doesn’t Act Out of Jealousy – jealousy is a big friendship killer.  A good friend leaves jealousy out of the equation. It wants to steal the joy from others, jealousy is hurtful, and has the inability to be happy for another person. Jealousy wants what the other person has, usually without considering the work it took to get it. Jealousy doesn’t want the other person to enjoy what they have, it has no place in true friendship. As a friend it doesn’t mean you won’t feel this emotion from time to time, that is human nature, use it to grow. Refuse to let it make you bitter or mean.

8. Non-Competitive Against Their Friends – a good friend does not try to undermine a friends’ happiness. This is not the same as healthy competition that is uplifting to both.

9. Values Quality Time – a good friend is not always a “hip-pocket” friend, where every spare moment is together. Quality is much more important that quantity. You may have casual friends’ that you spend more time with, or community or social media friends’, etc… although nice, these are more superficial relationships. A good friend doesn’t necessarily share all the same interests as you, having someone with a unique perspective can bring balance and be just plain interesting to be with.

10. Equal – a good friend is one where the balance of friendship is equal. You neither want to be the mouth or the ear alone. Sharing and caring should be equal.

Best friends

When choosing a friend or being one, a question to always ask yourself is “Does it feel good to be around this person? or Do I always feel drained and tired?” If you feel good, and filled with positive energy after being with someone, then they probably have the potential to be a good friend. If however, you feel drained and tired after every interaction with someone, then they are probably a “taker” and would not be “Good Friend” material.